I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
