I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
