So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
