some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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