Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
