smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
