i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize