I bet he comes in French.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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