We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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