My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize