Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
