The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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