Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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