Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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