why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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