Hey man sorry I got all grabby
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
