I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
