He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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