the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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