Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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