so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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