And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
