Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
