This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
