Don't make out with my wife yet
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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