Apparently you make a good broom.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
