New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't deserve a penis
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
