you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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