he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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