he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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