Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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