Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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