Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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