Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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