I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
