and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
