i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Terrible idea I love it
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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