So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
