put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
