Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
