I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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