This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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