so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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