how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
