My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You can't motorboat a personality
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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