no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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