someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
