have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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