love makes seman taste better
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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