There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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