I think my vagina is haunted
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
