their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
