Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
