i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
