I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize