And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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