Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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