The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
