i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The adults are the big ones right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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