what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
