now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
