Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
