Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
